Is There Fear in Your Food?

Thanks to DT for sharing this very interesting excerpt from the book, "Dying To Be Me", a story about a woman who was dying from cancer and credits her Near Death Experience (NDE) for her healing. This comes from the Frequently Asked Questions portion of the book and coincides nicely with Donut Whispering:


Q: Theories are interesting, but what about practical advice? How do you stay healthy now - what do you eat and what to you avoid in your diet?

A: Well, my diet has changed since my NDE, but I'm afraid it's not in a way you think! I used to be paranoid about what I ate. I was a strict vegetarian. I consumed only organic foods and was into macrobiotics, vitamin supplements, and wheatgrass juice - and that's before I got sick. I thought that everything caused cancer, from microwaves to preservatives. I used to eat very healthfully, but I did so out of fear.

Now I eat whatever I'm drawn to. I enjoy chocolate and a good wine or champagne from time to time. I just make sure that I have a good time wtih food and life! I think that it's more important to be happy than anything else.

It's no fun eating all the so-called right foods out of fear of getting sick and being miserable about it. Being anxious causes a whole other set of problems. Our bodies are actually a lot more resilient than we give them credit for, particularly if we're happy and not under stress.

Even when I choose to eat healthfully, I do so out of love instead of fear. That's my method in every aspect of my life, and I invite you to live the same way.

Feeling Good Before Losing Weight

Reader:

Hi Susanna! I am having some issues with my weight and how I am feeling about myself. I was hoping you may have some advice for me. I am following your book and am currently overweight by 150 pounds. Yes, I am currently carrying a whole other person around with me. UGH! I look in the mirror and HATE what I see. I feel awlful about myself (and very self concious about what others say about me) and have very low self esteem. I have bought myself some nice new clothes, but still don't like what they look like on me. I know it is going to take a long time to get enough weight off to even notice it. Do you have any suggestions on how to look and feel better about myself during the weight loss process? Thanks!

Response:

A very big question indeed!

It would be nice, wouldn’t it, if everyone around us behaved in a way that made it easy for us to feel good about ourselves?! But guess what? It’s not their job!! They are busy trying to feel good about themselves and many times that involves harsh judgments about others. But those judgments are NEVER about you ~ they are ALWAYS about the people who are making them! When they see overweight people it triggers deep-seeded issues for them that are all mixed up with their own fears. Not only that, if you can’t even be kind in the way you speak to yourself, why on earth would you expect others to be kinder?

But you aren’t alone! There are very few people who don’t have worthiness issues on one level or another. I work on my own self-esteem on a daily basis because, underneath this seemingly confident exterior, I still have some issues to clean up.

Regardless, the answer is the same for ANYONE who is experiencing ANY negative feeling about ANYTHING (weight, job, relationship, etc.): You have to change the conversation you are having with yourself.

Every single feeling you have whether it is positive, neutral, or negative comes from a thought. That thought may be a conscious one, but many times thoughts are subconscious. And we are thinking all the time.

Okay, so the good news is you can change the way you feel by choosing your thoughts more carefully - change the conversation with yourself. This takes a little bit of practice.

You look in the mirror and you are overwhelmed with negative feelings, right? That’s because the conversation is “UUGGH! I hate my body! I’m so fat! This fat is ugly….blah, blah, blah.” Well, no wonder you are feeling badly!

So you change the conversation. Keep in mind that you have to BELIEVE what you are saying or don’t bother. You can even use the Pleasure Scale you are now using with your food. So you’re feeling an emotion that ranks a 1 or 2 on the Pleasure Scale which means you are thinking thoughts that rank 1 or 2. Leave them on your plate! Lol! Don’t bother with them!

Say to yourself, “I don’t have any use for you. Nothing good will come if I keep thinking you, so you’re going in the garbage. I’m going to rummage around in my thoughts and find the ones that rank higher on my Pleasure Scale. Let’s see, maybe this one, ’It’s silly to hate my body. It did exactly what it was supposed to do - it stored the extra calories that I gave it. It is a master storage unit.’

Okay, that felt a little better - maybe a 4 or 5 on the scale. Let’s see, what else? How about, ‘Okay, so somewhere along the way - probably before I could talk even - I started to give other people the power to decide my value, but I can change that starting now, just like I‘ve decided to take my power back from the diet industry. I’m going to choose more compassionate, more pleasurable thoughts to think, because I know the opposite doesn’t work. Bullying myself DOES NOT WORK just like DIETS DON’T WORK. So, no matter who says what about me today, I am going to choose to think kind thoughts about myself because THAT is what is going to change my weight and my life. No one is responsible for making me feel better except me and I have the tools now to do exactly that.’”

So does that feel better? Of course, don’t work too hard at all this. Make it fun, make yourself smile. If you can’t find a better thought on a subject like what you are seeing in the mirror - go pet your dog or look at the flowers in your yard. There will be setbacks, but always go back to choosing a better feeling thought. THAT IS THE ONE AND ONLY THING YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER AND UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE!!!

And something magical happens when you practice it enough, because it changes the energy you emit and you start attracting better things, a better body, better relationships - even more better feeling thoughts will come more easily.

Again, above all things, be easy with all this. Enjoy your food, enjoy your thoughts. And keep me posted.

ABC's Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Addition Help or Hellish?

Last night I watched ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. May I just say, “UUUGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!”

Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled for the young woman who lost over 160 pounds in one year. As a former fattie, how could I not be? But this show, just like it’s predecessor, The Biggest Loser, is only adding to the dangerous psychological environment that is contributing to the rise of obesity in our world.

It is just so frustrating for me to watch! These shows physically and emotionally batter and bully these obese people into losing weight. And yes, I hear you. It works. This is only more frustrating for me because I know these shows are not going to revisit these people in years to come when they have not been able to maintain this torturous lifestyle and have regained all the weight and more.

Now I know there will be the few who will dedicate their lives to this newly found religion of disciplined exercise and eating, capitalizing on their big extreme loser fame, thumping The Good Book of Healthy Eating, and shouting at their overweight congregation from the pulpit of Necessary Exercise. These are the converts, the zealots, the cult followers - the ones who believe only a life of pain and deprivation will yield you the desired result of a thin body.

Okay, but does that sound like fun?

Of course not, and that’s why people ultimately fail in keeping on the “straight and narrow” of diet and exercise. Luckily in conventional religion, there are things you can do to instantly get your spiritual body back in shape - when you’re talking weight gain and loss, not so easy.

And what happens to the millions of overweight people watching these tv shows from their sofas at home? They become more and more convinced that it will take a team of screaming trainers, on-the-call nutritionists, world-class chefs with the best possible foods available, and daily 8-hour workouts if they have a chance in hell to lose weight.

And when they get up from the sofa during the commercial break, what snack do you think they are going to grab out of the kitchen - a celery stalk out of the refrigerator or the tray full of brownies on the kitchen counter? Exactly.

Again, may I say “UUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!”

Susanna Dee ~ The Donut Whisperer

Author of “I’ve Tried It All! Now What?”
Exclusively sold at: http://www.thedonutwhisperer.com/
Discuss with me at Facebook

Ice Cream for Dinner! Yes!

A special thanks to Bootz for sharing this story via email forward:

One day I had lunch with some friends. Jim, a tall, balding golfer type about 80 years old, came along with them~-all in all, a pleasant bunch.

When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Jim who said, "Ice cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate."

I wasn't sure my ears heard right, and the others were aghast. "Along with heated apple pie," Jim added, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time. But when our orders were brought out, I didn't enjoy mine. I couldn't take my eyes off Jim as his pie a-la-mode went down. The other guys couldn't believe it. They ate their lunches silently and grinned.

The next time I went out to eat, I called and invited Jim. I lunched on white meat tuna. He ordered a parfait.

I smiled. He asked if he amused me.

I answered, "Yes, you do, but also you confuse me. How come you order rich desserts, while I feel I must be sensible?

He laughed and said "I'm tasting all that is possible. I try to eat the food I need, and do the things I should. But life's so short, my friend, I hate missing out on something good. This year I realized how old I was. (He grinned) I haven't been this old before. So, before I die, I've got to try those things that for years I had ignored.

I haven't smelled all the flowers yet. There are too many trout streams I haven't fished. There's more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead. There are too many golf courses I haven't played. I've not laughed at all the jokes. I've missed a lot of sporting events and potato chips and cokes.

I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face. I want to sit in a country church once more and thank God for His grace. I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast. I want un-timed long distance calls to the folks I love the most. I haven't cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain. I need to feel wind on my face. I want to be in love again.

So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner, then should I die before night fall, I'd say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart's desire. I had that final chocolate mousse before my life expired.."

With that, I called the waitress over. "I've changed my mind," I said. "I want what he is having, only add some more whipped cream!"

Be mindful that happiness isn't based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people we like and respect. Remember that while money talks, CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM SINGS!

Susanna Dee ~ The Donut Whisperer 
Author of "I've Tried It All! Now What?!" 

Joyful vs. Fearful Food Beliefs

Interesting isn’t it – how many dieters have food beliefs based in fear?  Oh my goodness, can you imagine what this does to your body chemisty while eating?  I found this informative article today that may be a clue to why some people can eat donuts joyfully and be healthy while others eat donuts fearfully and reap different consequences:

Permeating the human brain are 400 miles of blood vessels – providing nutrients, fuel, and oxygen, while removing waste and excess heat. The capillaries in this vascular system also comprise what is called the blood-brain barrier (BBB), a protective network unique to the central nervous system.

Present in all vertebrate brains, the BBB is laid down within the first trimester of human fetal life. Although far from perfect, it does shield neurons from some poisons, viruses, and other toxins in the bloodstream – as well as from unpredictable fluctuations in normal blood chemistry.

Stress compromises the BBB. Stress can dramatically increase the ability of chemicals to pass through the blood-brain barrier. During the Gulf War, Israeli soldiers took a drug to protect themselves from chemical and biological weapons.

Normally, the drug should not have crossed their BBBs, but scientists learned that the stress of war had somehow increased the permeability of the BBB. Nearly one-quarter of the soldiers complained of headaches, nausea, and dizziness – symptoms which occur only if the drug reaches the brain.

So you might ask yourself, “Whatever my food choices, can I make them out of true joy today?”

Loved these insights from a reader.....

I think of myself wanting to be able to enjoy what ever is happening in my life without restriction and missing out.

Some of the principles in [your] book really spoke to me about this. First is that dieting hardly ever deals with the emotional decisions we make. It teaches us to cut them off, disregard them and follow a system. It tells us we shouldn't choose our foods with emotions and therefore when we do, we are telling ourselves we did something wrong.

But it isn't true is it?

We are emotional, we do make decisions based on our experiences. So instead of trying to tame our inner wild child, we should just celebrate our desires by eating what ever it is that we want, but eating it in a portion size that supports our weight loss.

[You are] also quite clear about respecting your own health restrictions and 'whispering' within those and that as you get to know your body better, as your mind moves from feeling restricted, you will begin to find your body's own health preferences.

I've found that by allowing myself to eat whatever I want, I'm making some different choices. They are mostly around social activities [where ordinarily] I would have either fought with myself through to not eat what I wanted, punished myself afterwards with guilt [if I had eaten what I wanted] or avoided altogether (which has lead me to think about how much I've cut myself off from having fun).

- TJ

Latest Letters

Hi Susanna!

Thank you for your help. For answering my email and for making it easy and joyful to get in touch with you.

It's only been a few weeks since I received your book and it's been both familiar and an eye-opener.

It has been easy to be easy about all this since reading your book. It's been easy to implement this into our lives here. Your book makes it so clear.

I am enjoying more foods than ever, not thinking about fat, calories, portions, healthiness of the food choice etc... that all shifted about the 2nd week of doing the new set of rules. I now know it's all about balance. Anyway for me it is.

I am fuller quicker. I am almost always leaving several bites of everything I eat ( once in awhile I eat the whole cookie but am easy on myself about it) I am snacking several times a day and enjoying every bit of it! I have been amazed at how I have been able to unravel years of not so great eating thoughts and habits. I think it was time, I was definitely ready! Adding to it the teachings of Abraham and realizing it's all vibration just is so perfect along with your teachings! Everyday is a new day, new appetites, new fabulous meals to cook and enjoy! And I AM EATING!!! Confidently eating!!! Yay!!! I could probably lose quicker by eating less, but like you said... I'd feel deprived and then over eat. I am finally "getting" this!

The BEST part is!!! drumroll please.... in just a month (that is even before I started your book and was only reading the early posts of the weight loss thread) I have definitely gone down in size!!! My size 8 jeans are all looser. Everything is looser! I am  very comfortable in all my skinny jeans, all my low cut jeans too. I have no muffin top anymore! I am getting leaner, smaller and even more toned up (only doing my few yoga stretches I do and walking the dogs as before, as in nothing has changed in routine) I feel better, happier, satisfied, excited about eating, comfortable and pleased with myself!!! I have not weighed myself and that in itself it a HUGE thing! I have no desire to either! But I know I am getting smaller and have to be losing weight as well. I know I will very soon be a 6 or smaller. I also know that this is permanent. The way that feels right about eating. Did I mention that I am 53? I often forget that I am :) but age so does not have a thing to with any of this! It's so freeing!!! WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!

Oh and thank you for the rule of leaving 3 bites when it's still a 10 and you are almost done lol!!! That is a biggie here for us both! Because somethings do taste just that great all the way through!!! :)

Yes, freedom indeed! Thank you ❤ so much for helping me.

Have a wonderful evening,
All the best to you~
PW




Susanna,

You are a breath of fresh air. Thank you! I really thought you were writing about me. I loved every bit your book but my favourite part is how you raised Brooke to have a healthy relationship with food. Truly Amazing and what a gift! I want to do that with my son too. He's only 4.

Breakfast this morning was the first meal I ate after reading your book. I almost forgot to leave a couple of bites. I was about to plunge my fork in again and I was SHOCKED at how hard it was to leave those 2 bites. I sat staring at the food for a minute and then ... MY GOD ... HOW FREEING!!! ... I felt ten foot tall and bullet proof as I put that unfinished plate on the sink.

At lunch time I really didn't think I could do it again and I DID!!! What a surprise. It felt very werid because I was in the clean plate club too. My husband will often leave two or three or even four bites on his plate and I will look at him like he is crazy. ( Most often I will eat his leftovers too!!!) I just couldn't understand how he couldn't fit it in. He's never had a weight problem either mind you!

My dad is a big overeater, normally going back for seconds. Mum was always starting a diet on Monday. I fussed and dieted thinking I was fat right through high school. Even though I weighed 50kg. I'm a big eater now too, and a greedy eater and a sneaky eater. Well okay that is my 'old story'.

My 'new story' .... is that I have fallen in love with food. I love eating at a beautifully laid table with good food, good wine and good company. What a thrilling concept to have a healthy realtionship with food. 

With Abe's Meditation CD and your book I feel certain that my body will gradually come back into alignment while enjoying the foods I love to eat. I don't have scales I gave them away about 12 months ago. I lost 12kg with weight watchers about 18months ago. After a while it did my head in counting points so I stopped dieting. I have been eating and drinking whatever i want since and have maintained a size 26 in clothing. There have been moments where I've felt my pants get a bit loose around the waist. I want to be a size 10 again like back in my army days. I will keep you updated if you like Susanna.

Thank you ever so much!

With Appreciation

NW





Dear Susanna,

I am sharing [something that I wrote in memory of my brother-in-law who passed away recently]. I hope that you read this;  otherwise, you will not know how very much you have helped me, especially in the past few days.  You are a gift from the Universe, Susanna.  Thank you!

This week has been very emotionally draining so far.  My brother-in-law passed away suddenly very early Sunday morning.  There is more to this story but I cannot [write] it now.

I ordered a book titled "I’ve Tried It All!  Now What?!  It is written by a very astute woman, named Susanna Dee, AKA  'The Donut Whisperer.'  In her book she writes:  “We have a strong emotional connection to food.  That connection should be honored, not denied!”  Susanna further writes:  “From the moment we are born, we associate food with comfort and emotion!  Breast feeding is the epitome of correlating food with comfort and emotion!  Eating is and was always meant to be (a) very sensual, pleasurable, nurturing, and satisfying experience.”

I have eaten a couple of comfort foods in the past few days, but  .  .  .  .   have done so while “jogging on my dinner plate.”  My comfort foods have rated as “10+++” on the “Pleasure Scale.”  These concepts from Susanna’s book have helped me tremendously in the past few days, and it has been most fortuitous for me that her book arrived in my mailbox when it did.  Without having read her book, I know that I would have mindlessly indulged in the partaking of my comfort foods.  With Susanna’s book in my possession, I have applied Rule #5 to the consumption of my comfort foods.  Thank you, Susanna!

TG