Feeling Good Before Losing Weight

Reader:

Hi Susanna! I am having some issues with my weight and how I am feeling about myself. I was hoping you may have some advice for me. I am following your book and am currently overweight by 150 pounds. Yes, I am currently carrying a whole other person around with me. UGH! I look in the mirror and HATE what I see. I feel awlful about myself (and very self concious about what others say about me) and have very low self esteem. I have bought myself some nice new clothes, but still don't like what they look like on me. I know it is going to take a long time to get enough weight off to even notice it. Do you have any suggestions on how to look and feel better about myself during the weight loss process? Thanks!

Response:

A very big question indeed!

It would be nice, wouldn’t it, if everyone around us behaved in a way that made it easy for us to feel good about ourselves?! But guess what? It’s not their job!! They are busy trying to feel good about themselves and many times that involves harsh judgments about others. But those judgments are NEVER about you ~ they are ALWAYS about the people who are making them! When they see overweight people it triggers deep-seeded issues for them that are all mixed up with their own fears. Not only that, if you can’t even be kind in the way you speak to yourself, why on earth would you expect others to be kinder?

But you aren’t alone! There are very few people who don’t have worthiness issues on one level or another. I work on my own self-esteem on a daily basis because, underneath this seemingly confident exterior, I still have some issues to clean up.

Regardless, the answer is the same for ANYONE who is experiencing ANY negative feeling about ANYTHING (weight, job, relationship, etc.): You have to change the conversation you are having with yourself.

Every single feeling you have whether it is positive, neutral, or negative comes from a thought. That thought may be a conscious one, but many times thoughts are subconscious. And we are thinking all the time.

Okay, so the good news is you can change the way you feel by choosing your thoughts more carefully - change the conversation with yourself. This takes a little bit of practice.

You look in the mirror and you are overwhelmed with negative feelings, right? That’s because the conversation is “UUGGH! I hate my body! I’m so fat! This fat is ugly….blah, blah, blah.” Well, no wonder you are feeling badly!

So you change the conversation. Keep in mind that you have to BELIEVE what you are saying or don’t bother. You can even use the Pleasure Scale you are now using with your food. So you’re feeling an emotion that ranks a 1 or 2 on the Pleasure Scale which means you are thinking thoughts that rank 1 or 2. Leave them on your plate! Lol! Don’t bother with them!

Say to yourself, “I don’t have any use for you. Nothing good will come if I keep thinking you, so you’re going in the garbage. I’m going to rummage around in my thoughts and find the ones that rank higher on my Pleasure Scale. Let’s see, maybe this one, ’It’s silly to hate my body. It did exactly what it was supposed to do - it stored the extra calories that I gave it. It is a master storage unit.’

Okay, that felt a little better - maybe a 4 or 5 on the scale. Let’s see, what else? How about, ‘Okay, so somewhere along the way - probably before I could talk even - I started to give other people the power to decide my value, but I can change that starting now, just like I‘ve decided to take my power back from the diet industry. I’m going to choose more compassionate, more pleasurable thoughts to think, because I know the opposite doesn’t work. Bullying myself DOES NOT WORK just like DIETS DON’T WORK. So, no matter who says what about me today, I am going to choose to think kind thoughts about myself because THAT is what is going to change my weight and my life. No one is responsible for making me feel better except me and I have the tools now to do exactly that.’”

So does that feel better? Of course, don’t work too hard at all this. Make it fun, make yourself smile. If you can’t find a better thought on a subject like what you are seeing in the mirror - go pet your dog or look at the flowers in your yard. There will be setbacks, but always go back to choosing a better feeling thought. THAT IS THE ONE AND ONLY THING YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER AND UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE!!!

And something magical happens when you practice it enough, because it changes the energy you emit and you start attracting better things, a better body, better relationships - even more better feeling thoughts will come more easily.

Again, above all things, be easy with all this. Enjoy your food, enjoy your thoughts. And keep me posted.